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CALM DOWN!I Can't!Alphabetical Listing of Reviews (M to Z)!
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Alphabetical A-L


F*A*Q

Alphabetical M-Z

Continued From Alphabetical Listing A-L
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Title

Category

Kneumsi Rating

Summary

Mac and Me (1988)
Movie Dog! Big Mac and You!
Machete (2010)
Movie 3 Stars When it's got to be done, hire the BLADE!
Madhouse (1981)
Movie 2.5 Stars Madness... takes its toll... As do Lullabies!
Mad Max (1979)
Movie 4 Stars Amid the Chaos comes ONE GOOD COP!
Mafia, una legge che non perdona (1980)
Movie 2 Stars If you can't take THE HEAT... stay out of the MAFIA!
Malevolence (2004)
Movie 2 Stars It's like TCM... only it's not any good!
A Man Called Horse (1970)
Movie 4 Stars Get ready to dance with a wolf, Dumbledore's gone Native!
Man from Deep River (1972)
Movie 2 Stars Attack of the Western Fish Man! (Or... a man called Fish)
The Manchurian Candidate (2004)
Movie 4 Stars Not as good as the original... but good!
Manhunter (1986)
Movie 2.5 Stars A vapid, dated adaptation of Red Dragon!
Maniac (1980)
Movie 2 Stars Blood, gore, gore, blood, mannequins, mom, blood, gore, gore blood!
Mardi Gras Massacre (1978)
Movie Dog! How does one follow up Fat Wednesday through Monday???
El Mariachi (1992)
Movie 3.5 Stars Low budget but great Musician against Mob actioner!
Marty (1955)
Movie 4 Stars Proves Fat ugly men (like me) can find love too!
Massacre in Dinosaur Valley (1985)
Movie Dog! When Beautiful Models find themselves Stranded in a Prehistoric Wasteland...
The Matador (2005)
Movie 3 Stars Capering Criminals, Sad Salesmen in bars and LOTS of Bull!
Match Point (2005)
Movie 4 Stars Here's a match for you... Woody Allen and the Suspense Thriller!
Matchstick Men (2003)
Movie 4 Stars Con Man's fairy tale with a Frenzy twist!
The Matrix Reloaded (2003)
Movie 4.5 Stars Now this is a Sci-Fi movie!
The Matrix Revolutions (2003)
Movie 4 Stars Neo redefines that which is possible!
Meatballs and Spaghetti (1982)
TV Cartoon 3 Stars Forgotten gem of a silly cartoon show!
Megamind (2010)
Movie 3.5 Stars The Most Evil Villain Ever to... wait, WHAT?
Memoirs of a Geisha (2005)
Movie 3.5 Stars One of the most beautiful movies ever made.
The Men Who Stare at Goats (2009)
Movie 3.5 Stars If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go stare at some Bengal Cats!
Meshuggah Live (05.03.03)
Music Concert 4 Stars Ultra-Heavy triple bill... one of the best EVER!
The Messengers (2007)
Movie 3 Stars Where the Sunflowers of EVIL grow!
Metallica: Some Kind of Monster (2004)
Movie 3.5 Stars Good if undisciplined heavy metal documentary!
Meteora by Linkin Park (2003)
Music 3 Stars Linkin Park releases Hybrid Theory II!
Mickey, Donald, Goofy: The Three Musketeers (2004)
Movie 4 Stars Alexandre Dumas' surprising lost novel!
Mighty Joe Young (1949)
Movie 4 Stars The Great Screen Hero in his Original Glory!
Millennium: "Jose Chung's 'Doomsday Defense'" (11/21/97)
TV 4 Stars If Mystery Journalism has a Name, it must be JOSE CHUNG!
Mindhunters (2004)
Movie 2.5 Stars I get the "Hunters" part, but...
Miracle (2004)
Movie 4 Stars Kurt Russell as the Triumphant USA Hockey Coach!
Miss Potter (2006)
Movie 4 Stars Peter Rabbit and his Friend's Friends!
The Mist (2007)
Movie 3 Stars Count me in, because I've been MIST!
The Mist - The Novella Cut (2008)
Movie 3.5 Stars And in the end, it's all just a walk in the clouds!
Monsters Vs. Aliens (2009)
Movie 4.5 Stars Man... Now those are some HUGE... Shoes!
Moon Child (2003)
Movie 3 Stars Japanese Vampire Gangsters... Oh my!
Morgane et ses Nymphes (1971)
Movie 3 Stars French Lesbians in a Harem from Beyond the Grave!!!
Most lßtszom most nem lßtszom (2005)
Movie 5 Stars I'm The Boy... Who Can Enjoy... INVISIBILITY!!!
Mrs. Henderson Presents (2005)
Movie 5 Stars Comedy, Drama... NUDITY!
Mulholland Drive (2001)
Movie ? ????? I have NO idea.
Murderball (2005)
Movie 4 Stars Nobody gets murdered! The other part...
The Mummy (1932)
Movie 3.5 Stars I got my bandages to keep ME warm!!!
The Mummy (1959)
Movie 3.5 Stars He's got his bandages to keep HIM warm, too!!!
Munich (2005)
Movie 4.5 Stars Spielberg's account of the aftermath of the 1972 Munich Massacre!
Mutant (1984)
Movie 2 Stars Mutation or Zombification? Who cares!
My Bloody Valentine (1981)
Movie 3 Stars The Slasher Thriller... with HEART!
My Bloody Valentine 3-D (2009)
Movie 3.5 Stars 3-D Horror? Sure. 3-D Nudity? OH HELL YES!
My Super Ex-Girlfriend (2006)
Movie 3.5 Stars She's got a body of steel, looks like Uma and
re-defines the "Mile High Club"...
and she got DUMPED?
The Neville Brothers Live 11.3.04
Music Concert 4 Stars Cyril, Aaron, Art, Charlie and even Ivan!
New Model Army Live 11.23.03
Music Concert 4 Stars Slade the Leveler has STILL got it!!!
The New World (2005)
Movie 3 Stars Expansive, beautifully photographed, yet somehow still lacking.
The New York Ripper (1982)
Movie DOG! Donald the Ripper in a lame, misogynistic Fulci Flick!
Night at the Museum (2006)
Movie 3.5 Stars Wait... Somethin' Moved!
Night Before the Wedding (2009)
Movie 4 Stars Never abandon the Groom!
Night of the Bloody Apes (1969)
Movie Dog! Ape Faced Serial Rapist Terrorizes Mexico!
Night of the Creeps (1985)
Movie 3.5 Stars Frat Boy Zombies? Now THAT is scary!
Night of the Demon (1980)
Movie Dog! Not Another Bigfoot Movie!
Night of the Living Dead (1968)
Movie 4 Stars The original Formula beats the band!
Night of the Living Dead (1990)
Movie 2.5 Stars Somewhat mediocre remake of a good movie!
Night School (1981)
Movie 2 Stars Terror Eyes and learning who Dies!
Night Warning (1983)
Movie 2 Stars Warning: Nightmares!
Night Watch (2004)
Movie 4 Stars Who Watches the Watchmen... at night?
Nightmare City (1983)
Movie Dog Zombie Terrorist jerks I hate.
Nightmare in a Damaged Brain (1981)
Movie 2.5 Stars Hi, Dad... What's with the Blood Splash?
A Nightmare On Elm Street (2006/ 1984)
Movie 3 Stars The 2006 NCM Two Day Showing
With "Freddy's Best Kills".
A Nightmare On Elm Street (2010)
Movie 2.5 Stars Manicure time... cut him off!
9 (2009)
Movie 3.5 Stars Knights in Brown Burlap!
North Country (2005)
Movie 3 Stars Serious, but hard to take Seriously... except for the Acting!
Nosferatu (1922)
Movie 4.5 Stars For the First Time the Vampire walks Among Us!
Nosferatu (1979)
Movie 3.5 Stars Terrifying and Stylistic Classic Remake!
The Notorious Newman Brothers (2009)
Movie 4 Stars Comedy, Execution Style!!!
Number One By Pist-On (1997)
Music 4.5 Stars Inventive Metal that doesn't get it's due! Damn it!
The Office episode 1.01 "Pilot" (3/24/05)
TV 2 Stars Unwise and unneeded American Remake of our Favorite Britcom!
Oldboy (2003)
Movie 4 Stars Ultraviolent Ultracool Ultramovie! (The Ultra Second in the Revenge Trilogy!)
The Omen (1976)
Movie 4.5 Stars Birthmark of the Antichrist... and a HELL of a film!
Omen II: Damien (1978)
Movie 3.5 Stars The day will come when all shall know him. He doesn't know him yet!
Omen III: The Final Conflict (1980)
Movie 3 Stars Everyone knows him as the Mellodramatic Messiah!
Omen IV: The Awakening (1991)
TV Movie DOG There will come a Reckoning for this one!
The Omen (2006)
Movie 2 Stars An Omen among Bad Horror Remakes
Once Upon a Time in Mexico (2003)
Movie 3.5 Stars Great until the last act. A bloody near miss!
One Dark Night (1983)
Movie 3 Stars Night of the Living Crypt!
One Day Seminar (2008)
Movie 3.5 Stars Night of the Living Crypt!
Ong-bak: Muay Thai Warrior (2003)
Movie 3.5 Stars A Martially Artistic Movie.
Open Water (2003)
Movie 2.5 Stars The best Shark movie since Jaws? Nah! That was Jaws 2!
The Order (2003)
Movie 3.5 Stars Interesting Catholic Horror film; good in spite of flaws!
Otogiriso (AKA St. John's Wort) (2001)
Movie 2.5 Stars So So Japanese Video Game Tie-In.
Over the Hedge (2006)
Movie 4 Stars Food, Folks and Fun!
Palindromes (2004)
Movie 3 Stars Disturbing no matter which way you spell it!
Pan's Labyrinth (2006)
Movie 5 Stars No one should face the underworld alone!
Paradise Now (2005)
Movie 4 Stars A suprising and engrossing look at the West Bank from across the fence.
Paranormal Activity (2007)
Movie 3 Stars Nightmares Come with their own Baggage!
Parasite (1982)
Movie 2.5 Stars Well, it SUCKS, but... GIMME MOORE!
The Passion of the Christ (2004)
Movie 5 Stars Mel Gibson's Triumph on the last of Christ's Life!
Paycheck (2003)
Movie 3.5 Stars One more reason to really, really like Dick!
The Peacekeepers (2005)
Movie 4.5 Stars UN Documentary reviewed by the Lovely and Talented Lynelle Lund
(soon to be a Superman Costar!)
Phantasm (1979)
Movie 2.5 Stars Blood, Scares... Cheese.
The Phantom of the Opera (1925)
Movie 5 Stars Lon Chaney, and his One in a Thousand Face!
Andrew Lloyd Webber's The Phantom of the Opera (2004)
Movie 4.5 Stars Against all odds, a Theatre Classic stuns on the screen!
Phenomena (1985)
Movie 3.5 Stars You've heard of THE LORD OF THE FLIES? Well, the 'Lady' isn't so bad!
The Pianist (2002)
Movie 4.5 Stars Moving sad tale of hope and struggle in WW2 Poland!
Pieces of April (2003)
Movie 4 Stars Funny film about Thanksgiving gone horribly wrong!
Pigs (1972)
Movie Dog! Pig Movie is Turkey!
Pink Floyd: Laser Spectacular (7/21/05)
Music Show 4 Stars A concert Without the Band... but with one hell of a visual effect!
Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003)
Movie 4.5 Stars Revitalizing Pirate movie featuring a Gay Johnny Depp!
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest (2006)
Movie 4 Stars The Chest that Launched a thousand ships... Okay, maybe four, but whoa!
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End (2007)
Movie 3.5 Stars Can you survive the Maelstrom... of Calypso?
Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (2011)
Movie 3.5 Stars Now back to the GOOD Part!
Pixies Live (10/23/2004)
Music Concert 4.5 Stars A wave of mutilation!
Plan 9 from Outer Space (1959)
Movie DOG! Future events such as Flying Saucers shaped like Cigars will affect you in the future!
Planet of the Apes (2001)
Movie 2 Stars Inferior remake that should be Euthanized!
Planet of the Vampires (1965)
Movie 3 Stars TERROR IN SPACE!!
Point Break (1991)
Movie 5 Stars The greatest movie ever made!
Poltergeist (1982)
Movie 4.5 Stars THEY'RE (finally) HE-ERE!
Popcorn (1991)
Movie 3.5 Stars The SCREAM before Scream!
Possession (1981)
Movie 3 Stars Eight Arms to Hold You!
Predator (1987)
Movie 4 Stars The First, the MEANEST, the Toughest and the unstoppable!
Predator 2 (1990)
Movie 2 Stars This sequel lacks the originality!
Predators (2010)
Movie 3 Stars The Ultimate Hunt... almost!
Pride & Prejudice (2005)
Movie 4.5 Stars Classy, romantic, smart, witty... HOTTER THAN THE SUN'S CORE!
Primeval (2007)
Movie 2.5 Stars Gustave: THE MOST WANTED Croc in the WORLD!
The Princess and the Frog (2009)
Movie 4 Stars Warts and ALL, baby!
Prisoner of the Cannibal God (1978)
Movie 2 Stars Journey into the Jungles of Terror and watch Ursula Undress!
The Producers (2005)
Movie 4 Stars It's never felt so good to feel so wrong.
The Professor and the Madman by Simon Winchester (1998)
Book 4.5 Stars Fascinating nonfiction about the OED. Not to be missed!
Profondo Rosso (1975)
Movie 4 Stars Deep, Dark, Red, Profound, LETHAL!!!
Prom Night (1980)
Movie 3 Stars King, Queen... and SAUCY JACK!
Prom Night (2008)
Movie 2 Stars Ever put a Corsage on and accidently prick yourself? This is worse!
Prometheus (2012)
Movie 4 Stars The Prequel to Alien is a film all its own!
The Proper Care and Feeding of an American Messiah (2006)
Movie 4.5 Stars A Brilliant Mockumentary from a truly Independent Spirit!
The Prowler (1981)
Movie 2.5 Stars Another Masked Slasher? FORK IT OVER!
Psycho (1960)
Movie 5 Stars The Master of Suspense's Masterpiece!
Psycho II (1983)
Movie 3.5 Stars It's not the original, but what could be?
The Punisher (2004)
Movie 3 Stars Marvel's Revenge Master on Film (again).
Punisher: War Zone (2008)
Movie Dog! Third Time's a HARM!
Punk-O-Rama Volume 8 (2003)
Music Compillation 4 Stars Best priced good CD in history, I'd wager!
Quantum of Solace (2008)
Movie 3.5 Stars How many licks DOES it take?
The Quiet Earth (1985)
Movie 4 Stars After the world ends we still have LOVE TRIANGLES?
Ratatouille (2007)
Movie 5 Stars Can you smell what the RAT is cookin'?
Ravenous (1999)
Movie 3 Stars Can you smell what the WENDIGO is cookin'? (Hint... it's you.)
Raw Force (1982)
Movie Dog! Super Sketch!
The Realm of Never: Moratorium (2001)
TV Episode 4 Stars Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of... uh... who knows?!
The Realm of Never: The Unidentified Craft (2009)
TV Episode 4 Stars Does this Anagram make me look Fat?
Reazione a catena (1971)
Movie 3 Stars Take your Bloodbath in the Bay of Blood!
Re-Animator (1985)
Movie 3 Stars Naked, Angry Zombies on Parade... Heads Will Roll!
Red (2010)
Movie 4 Stars Retired, Extremely Dangerous and SEEING RED!!!
Red Dragon by Thomas Harris (1982)
Novel 4 Stars Freaky Complex and almost there for Hannibal Lecter!
Red Dragon (2002)
Movie 3.5 Stars A good adaptation, but Hollywood still reigns it in!
Red Eye (2005)
Movie 3.5 Stars Metal Detectors don't fix it all! This one will simply "Cill" you!
Red Princess Blues Animated: The Book of Violence (2007)
Movie 3.5 Stars You'll never know what hit you till you're covered in RED!
Red Riding Hood (2011)
Movie 3 Stars Whose afraid of the BIG... BAD... WEREWOLF?!
Reign of Fire (2002)
Movie 3.5 Stars Post-Apocalyptic Dragons on Earth... doesn't suck!
Rent (2005)
Movie 4.5 Stars Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes of excellence!
Repulsion (1965)
Movie 3.5 Stars YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Or are you?
Resident Evil: Apocalypse (2004)
Movie 2.5 Stars Dumb Luck, Dumb Movie, Dumb Fun! I love it!
Resident Evil: Extinction (2007)
Movie 2.5 Stars Mad Maxine in the Land of the Borrowed Zombies of Tomorrow!
Resident Evil: Afterlife (2010)
Movie 3 Stars Out of the Rabbit Hole, Alice Fights the FUture!!!
Return of the Living Dead (1985)
Movie 3 Stars Schlocky Goof of a Zombie Film completely aware of how silly it is!
Return to Sleepaway Camp (2008)
Movie Dog! More Crap Cramps from Camp Hiltzik!
Returner (2002)
Movie 3.5 Stars A Kick-Ass Japanese Actioner that borrows liberally from others!
Les Revenants (2004)
Movie 4 Stars A Zombie movie without... well... Zombies.
Ring (1999)
Movie 4.5 Stars Really good Korean Remake of Japanese thriller!
The Ring (2002)
Movie 4 Stars Scary adaptation of a Japanese thriller.
The Ring Two (2005)
Movie 2.5 Stars Weak entry into an otherwise killer mythology!
Rings (2005)
Short Film 3.5 Stars Sixteen Minutes of Samara Creepiness.
Ringu (1998)
Movie 4.5 Stars Incredibly creepy Japanese thriller... one of the best!
Ripley Under Ground (2005)
Movie 4 Stars Tom Ripley is on a Continental Caper, and he's funnier than you can believe!
Rise of the Planet of the Apes (2011)
Movie 4.5 Stars CAESAR... IS... HOME!
Road to Perdition (1998)
Graphic Novel 4 Stars Excellent Graphic Novel that inspired the movie!
RoboCop (1987)
Movie 4 Stars Killer story of the Copper made of Chrome! Part Man, Part Machine, ALL COP!
Robots (2005)
Movie 4.5 Stars Great fun, great acting, great animation!
Roboowar - Robot Da Guerra (1988)
Movie Dog! Bad from the HEAD all the way down to the... nothing.
Robyn Hitchcock Live in Concert (02/24/06)
Music Concert 4 Stars An Rock Concert that was funny as hell. Intentionally!!!
The Roommate (2011)
Movie 2 Stars Stylish, yet SILLY!
Rope (1948)
Movie 5 Stars Learning to Kill for Fun and Academia!
The Runaways (2010)
Movie 3.5 Stars SHRED IT, CHERIE BOMB!!!
Sanctum (2011)
Movie 2.5 Stars A RIP in the EARTH!
Santa Claus Conquers The Martians (1964)
Movie Dog! In every way... your Christmas Turkey!
Sarah Silverman: Jesus is Magic (2005)
Movie 2 Stars She's more Machine now than Silverman!
Joe Satriani and Eric Johnson Live (05/03/06)
Music Concert 4.5 Stars Two men, Twelve Strings and perfect hair (mine, that is).
Saw IV (2007)
Movie 2 Stars The Blade is Getting DULL.
Saw V (2008)
Movie 2 Stars Okay, Okay, Okay... CUT!
Le Scaphandre et le papillon (2007)
Movie 4.5 Stars What pulls you down and what lifts you up.
The Scar by China MiÚville (2002)
Book 3.5 Stars Surrealistic other-worldly floating pirate city!
Scary Movie 4 (2006)
Movie 2.5 Stars Anna's back... in the Revenge of Nanette Hibblefarb!
The Scooby Doo Valentine's Day Special (2005)
TV 3 Stars The Golden Ages are all behind Mysteries, Inc.
Scott Pilgrim Vs. the World (2010)
Movie 3.5 Stars Super Villains vs. a Bass Player!
Scream (1996)
Movie 4 Stars When a GHOSTFACE Calls!
Scream 2 (1997)
Movie 4 Stars And SCREAM Again!
Scream 3 (2000)
Movie 3 Stars From a Woodsboro to a STAB!
Scream 4 (2011)
Movie 3 Stars BAM! Sid, SUPERBITCH!
Secretariat (2010)
Movie 4.5 Stars Three Crowns, One Horse... One Champion!
The Sentinel (1977)
Movie 3.5 Stars They throw the BEST Damn Parties at the Rim of Hell!
Serenity (2005)
Movie 5 Stars Firefly hits the big screen in an Excellent continuation to the Saga!
Seven Mary Three Live (10.1.04)
Music Concert 3 Stars With Adore, Blew Fluid and The Burdon Brothers!
Seytan (1974)
Movie Dog! Surefire Satanic Suckitude!
Shatter Dead (1994)
Movie 2 Stars He shoots from the three point line and... it goes out the window!
Shaun of the Dead (2004)
Movie 4 Stars Make Fun of Zombies... they won't mind!
Sherlock Holmes (2009)
Movie 3.5 Stars Seek and Ye Shall Find... ACTION!
The Shining (1980)
Movie 4 Stars He Shines like the Top of the Chrysler Building!
Shock (1977)
Movie 3 Stars Marco... Po-loser!
Shogun Assassin (1980)
Movie 4 Stars Shogun, will travel!
Shogun Assassin 2: Lightning Swords of Death (1972)
Movie 3.5 Stars Shotgun, still travels!
Shoot 'Em Up (2007)
Movie 3.5 Stars Happiness is a Warm Gun! Bang Bang! Shoot Shoot!
Shoot-Out (2005)
Movie 4.5 Stars This one is definitely worth the three point shot!!!
Shrek 2 (2004)
Movie 4.5 Stars A great and farcical adventure!
Shrek The Third (2007)
Movie 4 Stars King Arthur... Lancelot... Merlin... Puss?
Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday The Thirteenth (2000)
Movie 2 Stars Happy Jason Day, bitchez!
Shutter Island (2010)
Movie 3.5 Stars Investigating the ISLAND OF MADNESS!
The Silence of the Lambs (1991)
Movie 5 Stars Circumlocution... ask me later
Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2 (1987)
Movie DOG! the 2013 Christmas Turkey WANTS you to hate it!
The Simpsons: A Fish Called Selma (03/24/1996)
TV 4.5 Stars The Episode Chimpans A through Z do NOT want you to see!
The Simpsons Movie (2007)
Movie 3.5 Stars D'OH! I mean... Woo-Hoo!
Sin City (2005)
Movie 5 Stars For the first time, a Graphic Novel actually comes to life!
Sisters of Death (1977)
Movie 2 Stars Sorority House Murders... and Fully Clothed VENGEANCE!
The Sisters of Mercy Live (03/18/06)
Music Concert 4 Stars One of the best bands in the world, still on their game!
Six Feet Under: "Falling Into Place" (6/13/04)
TV 4.5 Stars Six Feet Under is Happier than EVER in the Fourth Season Opener!
The Skeleton Key (2005)
Movie 3 Stars So we're just ripping off ANY Japanese Horror now?
Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow (2004)
Movie 4.5 Stars The Future never looked so Cool, man!
Skyfall (2012)
Movie 4 Stars The Skyfall never Falls!
Skyline (2010)
Movie 3 Stars The SKYLINE is FALLING!
The Slayer (1982)
Movie 2 Stars Dream a Demonic Dream of Me!
Sleepaway Camp (1983)
Movie 2 Stars Trashy, cheap, derivative... and I love it!
Sling Blade (1996)
Movie 4 Stars Billy Bob Thornton makes a name for himself... and it's Karl!
Slither (2006)
Movie 3.5 Stars Sci-Fi Horror Comedy about Alien Worm Zombie Martians... with heart!
Smallville "Exile" {Season Premier} (10/01/03)
TV 3 Stars Lex Luthor on an Island... hmmm.
Smallville "Covenant" {Season Finale} (6/01/04)
TV 2 Stars Lex Luthor DEAD... hmmm.
Snakes on a Plane (2006)
Movie 3 Stars You can never be done with Snakes on a Plane!
Snakes on a Train (2006)
Movie DOG! It hurts less if you RIP IT OFF real fast!
Snuff (1976)
Movie DOG! Well, no, not really!
Sodoma's Ghost (1988)
Movie DOG! The Mystery Machine versus the Nazi Ghosts... with gay women!
Something New (2006)
Movie 4 Stars Something Tells Me I'm into Something HOT!
Son of Kong (1933)
Movie 3 Stars The Deadbeat Dad leaves one Monster of a Scion on Skull Island!
Sophie Scholl - Die letzten Tage (2005)
Movie 4.5 Stars Nazis... She hates these guys!
Sorority Boys (2003)
Movie 3 Stars Lex Luthor in a dress... hmmm.
Source Code (2011)
Movie 3.5 Stars Quantum Leap with Donnie Darko
Spawn (Season 2) (1998)
TV Series 2.5 Stars Spandex-clad undead hero moans about ex-wife. The end!
Species (1995)
Movie 3 Stars Hot Alien redefines "Chest Burster"!
Speed Racer (2008)
Movie 3 Stars Revving up that Mach... 6?
Spider (2002)
Movie 3.5 Stars Psychological horrific romp of subtle insanity!
Spider-Man 2 (2004)
Movie 4 Stars Flawed, yet really, really good Super-Hero Film!
Spider-Man 3 (2007)
Movie 4 Stars LAY DOWN IN THE WEB OF THE... BLACK SPIDER!
The Spirit (2008)
Movie 4 Stars When SCREAMS the City!
The Spongebob Squarepants Movie (2004)
Movie 4 Stars For Goofy Goobers EVERYWHERE!
The Squid and the Whale (2005)
Movie 4.5 Stars It's a whale of a tale and it's all true, I swear by my squid-ink tattoo!
SS Experiment Camp (1976)
Movie Dog! Nazis and Goofballs and Creeps (and naked women), OH MY!
St. Anger by Metallica (2003)
Music 3 Stars Metallica comes back... almost!
Star Crash (1978)
Movie DOG! Space Bikini Babes vs Country Robots and Weirdo Republicans!
Star Crystal (1986)
Movie DOG! Phone Home... Nah! HISSSSSSS!
Stargate Atlantis: "The Lost Boys" (09/23/05)
TV Episode 3 Stars Rainbow is a Tough Guy now!!!
Stargate Atlantis: "The Hive" (01/06/06)
TV Episode 3.5 Stars Man... Brown Shirts in Space!
Stargate SG-1: "Avalon" (7/15 - 22/05)
TV Episode 3.5 Stars John Chrichton and Aeryn Sun make it back to Earth!
Star Trek (2009)
Movie 4 Stars You can't nitpick! The Timeline was Altered. We're covered!
Star Trek: What Are Little Girls Made Of? (1966)
TV Episode 3.5 Stars Thank heaven for little girls....and some of the other sizes too!
Star Trek: The Motion Picture (1979)
Movie 3 Stars Classic Science Fiction Americana!
Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan (1982)
Movie 4.5 Stars K h a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a
a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a n !
Star Trek Enterprise: Regeneration (2003)
TV Episode 4 Stars Paradoxical Quantum Leap versus the Borg episode!
Star Trek Enterprise: The Expanse (2003)
TV Episode 3 Stars (Second Season Finale) Enterprise versus idiotic enemy race!
Star Trek Enterprise: The Xindi (2003)
TV Episode 3 Stars 3rd season opens with a Star Wars rip off (or three)!
Star Trek Enterprise: Countdown (2004)
TV Episode 3.5 Stars Who knows? Maybe it's gettin' good!
Star Trek Enterprise: Zero Hour (Season Finale) (2004)
TV Episode 3.5 Stars An excellent move forward... until the end screws it up!
Star Trek Enterprise: Storm Front Part 1 (Season Opener) (2004)
TV Episode 2.5 Stars The Screw Up Continues with Alien Nazis!
Star Trek Enterprise: Daedalus (01/14/05)
TV Episode 3.5 Stars If you can't beat Stargate SG-1, make fun of 'em!!!
Star Trek: First Contact (1996)
Movie 5 Stars WATCH... YOUR FUTURE'S END!
Star Trek: The Next Generation: "Q Who?" (05/06/89)
TV Episode 3.5 Stars Picard meets the BORG for the First Time!
Star Trek: The Next Generation: "The Best of Both Worlds" Parts 1 and 2 (06/16 - 09/22/90)
TV Episode 4.5 Stars I AM LOCUTUS OF BORG!
Star Trek: The Next Generation: "I Borg" (05/11/1992)
TV Episode 4 Stars But... there's only ONE of you!
Star Trek: The Next Generation: "Descent" Parts 1 and 2 (06/21 - 09/20/93)
TV Episode 4 Stars I AM LOCUTUS OF BORG, you will RESPOND to my QUESTIONS!
Star Trek: Voyager: "Scorpion" Parts 1 and 2 (05/21 - 09/03/97)
TV Episode 4 Stars It's in the Nature of the Borg... TO BE HOT!!!
Star Wars (1977)
Movie 5 Stars The Original... no Special Edition, no Jabba, no Ep 4, no Greedo Shooting First!
Star Wars: Episode I: The Phantom Menace (1999, 2012[3D])
Movie 4.5 Stars See you later, Ani Vader!
Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith (2005)
Movie 5 Stars YOU DON'T KNOW THE POWER OF THE DARK SIDE!
Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008)
Movie 4.5 Stars Continued this Clone War Has!
Stir of Echoes (1999)
Movie 4 Stars Sleep, Dig, Listen when the Walls Speak!
The Story of Qiu Ju (1992)
Movie 4 Stars DUDE! This Chinese Dude totally got Kicked in the Nuts!
Stranger Than Fiction (2006)
Movie 4.5 Stars Grown-Up Fantasy Romance with a hell of a cast!
Stray Dog (1949)
Movie 4 Stars Kurosawa proves the Film Noir isn't just for the USA!
Street Fight (2005)
Movie 4 Stars Vote for me or I'll KICK YOUR ASS!
Stuart Little 2 (2002)
Movie 3 Stars Expose on the Cast system of the Animal Kingdom!
Sucker Punch (2011)
Movie 2.5 Stars It might have been unwise to put the word "Suck" in the title!
Sunnyvale (2005)
Movie 3 Stars Incomplete but surprisingly funny Indie Film!
Sunnyvale: Opie Gets Laid (2005)
Movie 4 Stars Polished and even funnier, Ricardo gets better as Opie Gets Laid!
Superbowl XXXVIII Halftime Show (2/1/04)
TV/ Music 2 Stars Janet Jackson Flashes Football Fans!
Super 8 (2011)
Movie 4 Stars Monsters on Film!
Supergirl: The Movie (1984)
Movie 2 Stars So beautiful... such a waste!
Superman II: The Richard Donner Cut (2006)
Movie 4 Stars The Super Director is back with his original vision... ALMOST!
Superman III (1983)
Movie 2.5 Stars A Super Parody of itself!
Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987)
Movie Dog! Super Intentions, Super Bad... Meet Krypto the Super DOG!
Superman Returns (2006)
Movie 5 Stars Superman is Back, Intact and Well Worth the Wait!!!
Superman Returns: An IMAX 3D Experience (2006)
Movie 4 Stars Superman can do ANYTHING... including fly out at you!
Surf's Up (2007)
Movie 3 Stars Gnarly, Tubular, Cowabunga and all that!
Surrogates (2009)
Movie 3.5 Stars Plastic People and Promises and BARBIE GOES DOWN!!!
Survival of the Dead (2009)
Movie 3.5 Stars GUNFIGHT... at the DECAL CORRAL!
Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street (2007)
Movie 3.5 Stars Aw, the old Face in the Pie Gag!
Sweet Land (2005)
Movie 4.5 Stars Chaste and artistic Love Story. Paced but fantastic.
Swiri (1999)
Movie 3.5 Stars The highest earning South Korean film of all time... Starring Yunjin Kim, no less!
Sympathy for Lady Vengeance (2005)
Movie 4.5 Stars The Revenge Trilogy evolves and slams shut. The final cut is the Deepest!
Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance (2002)
Movie 4 Stars The Revenge Tragedy that started the Trilogy... it's as deep as the cuts it makes.
Syriana (2005)
Movie 3 Stars Super-dreamy agenda-rich Geopuppetmaster Geopolitical thriller. Flip a coin!
Taking Lives (2004)
Movie 2 Stars Predictable Serial Killer Mystery with Jolie Naked!
The Talented Mr. Ripley by Patricia Highsmith (1955)
Book 4 Stars Patricia Highsmith's Antagonistic Protagonist is creepy fun!
Tales from the Crypt Presents: Ritual (2001)
Movie 3 Stars Hello Kiddies, Want some REAL Zombies? EE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE!
Tangled (2010)
Movie 4 Stars Well Groomed with NO SPLIT ENDS!
Team America: World Police (2004)
Film(ed Puppet Show) 4 Stars Brilliant! America, FUQUE YEAH!
Teen Titans (Series Premier) (2003)
TV Episode 2.5 Stars DC's adolescent heroes act silly, sillier, silliest!
@
10 MPH (2007)
Movie 3.5 Stars Slow Down... Enjoy the Ride... but remain standing!
@
Tenebrae (1982)
Movie 3.5 Stars What if the Writer got it RIGHT?
@
10th and Wolf (2006)
Movie 4 Stars It's funny, it's violent, it's brilliant... and it also makes you think!
T2 3-D: Battle Across Time (1996)
Movie 4 Stars He told you he'd be back... and he's jumping off the screen at you!
The Terminator (1984)
Movie 4 Stars Days of Future Past... TERMINATED!
Terminator II (1990)
Movie DOG! One of the worst Bad Italian Rip Offs EVER made!!!
Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (2003)
Movie 3 Stars Contrived and derived cash cow manages to work reasonably well!
Terminator Salvation (2009)
Movie 3 Stars Rage, Rage against the Dying of the CYBORG!!!
Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles: "Pilot" and "Gnothi Seauton" (01/13/08 - 01/14/08)
TV 3 Stars Can you travel to the future if there IS no Future?
Terror Train (1980)
Movie 3 Stars Riding the Coaster to PERDITION!
The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974)
Movie 3.5 Stars Groundbreaking, Influential, Disturbing... fake.
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)
Movie DOG! Leatherface is back... and he still sucks!
Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation (1994)
Movie DOG! Worse than a Barney and Friends Marathon!
Then and Now by the Who
Music 4 Stars Two new songs spice up a pretty standard Hits Package!
There will be Blood
Movie 4.5 Stars I... DRINK... YOUR... MILKSHAKE!
The Thing from Another World (1951)
Movie 3.5 Stars Crawling from the Ice, he's really someTHING!!!
The Thing (1982)
Movie 4 Stars Things to Come...!
The Thing (2011)
Movie 3.5 Stars More Things to Come...!
The Third Society (2002)
Movie Dog! Action Packed but quality limited B-Movie!
@
13 Going on 30 (2004)
Movie 4 Stars A Chick remake of Big that still manages to be gosh darned funny!
This Girl's Life (2003)
Movie 2.5 Stars Well acted, beautifully naked drama on Porn. Edited like porn too.
311 Live in Concert (02/27/2006)
Music Concert 5 Stars Heavy, groovy, stylin'... 311 Rules!
311 Live in Concert (09/08/2006)
Music Concert 3.5 Stars They've changed a lot... and then some. Just kidding!
3 Dev Adam (1973)
Movie DOG! Captain Turkey Vs. Spider-Ottoman!
THX 1138 The George Lucas Director's Cut (2004/ 1971)
Movie 4.5 Stars A truly original PsyPhi Klazzik for thinkers!
Thor (2011)
Movie 3.5 Stars Thunder and ROCK!
Time of the Apes (1987)
Movie 2 Stars Great Timing... Bad Apes!
Timerider: The Adventure of Lyle Swann (1982)
Movie 2.5 Stars Headed for the '90s, livin' in the WIld, Wild West!!
Titus (1999)
Movie 4.5 Stars Scary, Nauseating and Wonderful Shakespeare Film!
TMNT (2007)
Movie 4 Stars Fourth times a charm for the REAL Fantastic Four!
Tokyo Godfathers (2003)
Movie 4 Stars Excellent Japanese Christmas Allegory!
Tokyo Mater (2008)
Movie 4 Stars Cars Condensed, but in 3-D!
Tomb Hackers (2003)
Movie 3 Stars Animated Hilarity from where the Music Man comes from!
The Toolbox Murders (1978)
Movie 2 Stars He's a tool all right
El Topo (1970)
Movie 4 Stars Journey into the Madness of the Wastelands!
Toy Story 3 (2010)
Movie 5 Stars Adventure, Action, Fun, Friends!
Train Ride (2000)
Movie 4 Stars Get this one in your sites!
Transamerica (2005)
Movie 4.5 Stars A compelling and rich story about
A WOMAN WHO USED TO BE A MAN!
(Was that too A Current Affair for you?)
Transformers (2007)
Movie 2.5 Stars Toy Tie In Becomes Michael Bay Flick instead of EPIC!
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009)
Movie DOG! Michael Bay's Target Pissing on a Franchise. THANK YOU, JACKASS!
Trick 'r Treat (2007)
Movie 3.5 Stars Meet Sam... his tricks are a TREAT!
Les Triplettes de Belleville (2003)
Movie 3.5 Stars Fascinating but weird-as-Acid animated French film!
Troll (1986)
Movie 2.5 Stars! Weird as Hell but better than Troll 2!
Troll 2 (1990)
Movie Dog! THANKGIVING TURKEY that you won't be thankful for!!!
TRON (1982)
Movie 3.5 Stars The Video Space Race!
TRON Legacy (2010)
Movie 4 Stars Back to the GRID!
Tsotsi (2005)
Movie 4.5 Stars Will the real Thugocrat please stand up?
28 Days Later... (2002)
Movie 4 Stars Zombie Thriller with a Medical twist!
28 Days Later... The Soundtrack Album (2003)
Music 4 Stars John Murphy's Eerie score to a killer movie!
@
24 Second Season Finale (2003)
TV Episode 3 Stars Jack proves that Insomnia is not a sure path to Glory!
@
24 Third Season Finale (2004)
TV Episode 3.5 Stars More temporally disjointed than The Butterfly Effect!
@
24 Fourth Season Opener (first Half) (01/09/05)
TV Episode 4 Stars Gotta love that Jack... or he'll shoot you in a conference room!!!
@
24 Fourth Season Opener (second Half) (01/10/05)
TV Episode 3 Stars Like Jack's playing a video game he doesn't have the instructions for!
@
24 Fourth Season Finale (05/23/05)
TV Episode 3.5 Stars Was that Jack walking off, or Bill Bixby?
@
24 Fifth Season Opener (first Half) (01/15/06)
TV Episode 3.5 Stars You just can't WHACK JACK!
@
24 Fifth Season Opener (second Half) (01/16/06)
TV Episode 3.5 Stars Jack is the WALKING DEAD. But that's just his acting!
29 Reasons to Run (2006)
Movie 4 Stars At least 29 Reasons to check out this Indie!
@
21 Grams (2003)
Movie 4.5 Stars Naomi Watts, Benicio Del Toro, Sean Penn! 'Nuff Said!
@
2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)
Movie 5 Stars The Cerebral Spectacle that NEVER gets old!
@
2010: The Year we make Contact (1984)
Movie 4 Stars Lucifer Rises... but this time that's not a bad, scary, nasty thing!
Typhoid Mary: An Urban Historical by Anthony Bourdain (2001)
Book 3.5 Stars New take on a factual history of the real Mary!
U Turn (1997)
Movie 3.5 Stars Oliver Stone wants you to know he's SURREAL!
L'Ultima orgia del III Reich (1979)
Movie Dog! A Really, Really, Really Nasty Video Nasty!
Ultimo Mondo Cannibale (1977)
Movie 2 Stars! Almost a Video Nasty! How it escaped, I'll never know.
Undead (2003)
Movie 3 Stars Zombie Dundee versus the Exhibitionist Aliens!
Under Surveillance (2005)
Movie 2.5 Stars It's a hell of a start, it could be made into a monster...
Underworld (2003)
Movie 3.5 Stars Vampires versus Werewolves in a decent retread!
Underworld Evolution (2006)
Movie 3.5 Stars The sequel breaks into its own with a bite and a growl.
Unhinged (1982)
Movie Dog Actually I think the Hinge is lost.
The Uninvited (2009)
Movie 3.5 Stars More Tales, More Sisters, Same Terror!
Up (2009)
Movie 5 Stars Putting off that Vacation? Take it up now!
V For Vendetta (2006)
Movie 3.5 Stars The Mask has spoken!
Remember, Remember the Fifth of November!
Vampyres (1974)
Movie 3 Stars Dare you pick up Haunting Hitchhikers in Rural England? YES!
Vampyros Lesbos (1971)
Movie 3.5 Stars What better way to celebrate Halloween
than with some Lesbian Vampires?
Actually, they're good any day!
Venom (2005)
Movie 2 Stars Louisiana Horror doesn't get any better than this! And that's a shame!
Versus (2000)
Movie 3.5 Stars The Prophecy tells of Samurai, Yakuza, Zombies... and that's the normal part!
Vertigo (1958)
Movie 5 Stars The Downward Spiral into Suspense!
The Village (2004)
Movie 4 Stars In the woods beyond The Villageů Shyamalama-ding-dong has done it again!
The Virgin Spring (1960)
Movie 5 Stars Wrong us... do we not REVENGE?
Virgin Witch (1972)
Movie 2.5 Stars Lesbian Twins Frollicking at Wychwold! And this is EVIL?
Virus (1999)
Movie 2 Stars The Borg have better TASTE, man!
Visiting Hours (1982)
Movie 3 Stars Visiting Time is Over so we Walk Away!
Wadd (1999)
Movie 3.5 Stars A John Holmes documentary... it's BIG!
Waiting for Superman (2010)
Movie 4 Stars Learn... if you can!
Walk the Line (2005)
Movie 4 Stars It's comin' 'round the Bend... Catch it!
Wallace and Gromit in the Curse of the Were-Rabbit (2005)
Movie 4 Stars Stop! Motion time!
WALL*E (2008)
Movie 5 Stars WALL*E and EVE... populate EARTH!
The Wanderer (2006)
Movie 3.5 Stars What to do when an old friend stops by and asks for a ride!
War of the Worlds (1953)
Movie 4 Stars Glide, walk or Swing into the Original Invasion!!!
H.G. Wells' War of the Worlds (2005)
Movie 2.5 Stars Let's just talk about the invaders, then.
War of the Worlds (2005)
Movie 4 Stars Spielberg's still got it, but so does his Banker!
Watchmen (2009)
Movie 3 Stars Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?
Roger Waters The Dark Side of the Moon Live at the Hollywood Bowl (10/08/06)
Music Concert 5 Stars And if the Band you're in starts playing different tunes...
When I Die (2005)
Movie 3.5 Stars Fist of the North Star!
When I Find Bin Laden (2006)
Movie 3 Stars Freedom isn't free... Appreciate what you've got!
White Shark (AKA: Creature) by Peter Benchley (1994)
Novel 3.5 Stars A Real Page Turner, and not the same old thing!
The Wicker Man (1973)
Movie 4.5 Stars What is THE WICKER MAN? The Answer might BURN YOU UP!
The Wicker Man (2006)
Movie 2 Stars Oh for Mother's Sake, just BURN HIM already!!!
The Witch who Came from the Sea (1976)
Movie 2.5 Stars She came from the sea... and she's not going back!
The Wolf Man (1941)
Movie 4.5 Stars There's never been a Werewolf Thriller like The Wolf Man!
And there may never be again!
The Wolfman (2010)
Movie 3 Stars A Valiant Remake Attempt... but it still falls just short of the Bite.
Women Behind Bars (1975)
Movie 2 Stars Who knows what Women lurk in the Cells of Prisons?!
Wonder Falls (2004)
TV 4.5 Stars Another Great show Euthanized! Die!
Wonderland (2003)
Movie 3.5 Stars Val Kilmer is Big John Holmes in this Violent bio-pic!
Wormhole Chasers (2007)
Movie 4 Stars Come out of the Closet, portal!
Wrong Turn (2003)
Movie 2.5 Stars Stan Turned out Wrong, but Eliza TURNs me on!
The X-Files: "Ice" (11/05/93)
TV 3.5 Stars This time things came from ANOTHER world!
The X-Files: "Jose Chung's 'fromouterspace'" (04/12/96)
TV 4.5 Stars It came from Outer Space and JOSE CHUNG was there!
The X-Files: Fight the Future (1998)
Movie 4 Stars Chest Bursting Aliens, Black Oil-Carrying Bees, Mad Bombers
and Hot Red Heads... what more could anyone ask?
The X-Files: I Want to Believe (2008)
Movie 3.5 Stars Back to Vancouver, Back to the Monster of the Week, Back to the Key of X!
X-Men (2000)
Movie 3.5 Stars Surprisingly good against all odds!
X2 X-Men United (2003)
Movie 3.5 Stars Mostly accurate X-Men Sequel
X-Men: The Last Stand (2006)
Movie 3 Stars The X-Men are Cool... But where's that X-Logic?
X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009)
Movie 3 Stars I prefer to call 'em "CLAWS", Bub!
X-Men: First Class (2011)
Movie 4 Stars The best X-Film to DATE!
Xtro (1983)
Movie 2.5 Stars Be a Freak! Be VERY a Freak!
xXx (2002)
Movie 2.5 Stars James Bond has little to worry about w/ this guy!
Y tu mamß tambiÚn (2001)
Movie 4 Stars Hot Hot Hot Mexican smart drama!
Yor, the Hunter from the Future (1983)
Movie Dog! So, in the future we get Lame Superhero Rejects hunting bicycle reflectors?
Young At Heart (2007)
Movie 4 Stars Old People, less Passing a Stone than Slashing some Rock!
Zardoz (1974)
Movie 2.5 Stars Zardoz Not Compute!!!
Zathura (2005)
Movie 2.5 Stars A space adventure like no other... except Jumanji!
Zombi 2 (1979)
Movie 2.5 Stars Unofficial Romero Entry with Zombies and Boobs!
Zombi 3 (1988)
Movie DOG! Terrible Zombie Entry with no Boobs!
Zombie 4: After Death (1988)
Movie DOG! Not much improvement and still no nudity!
Zombie 5: Killing Birds (1987)
Movie DOG! The worst of the Bunch... and still no nudity!
Zombie 6: Monster Hunter (1981)
Movie DOG! Completely unrelated... and no nudity!
Zombi Holocaust (1980)
Movie DOG! Terrible movie... Hot Actress!
Zombie Lake (1981)
Movie DOG! The Dead Skinny Dip with the Living!
Zombie Night (2003)
Movie DOG! The bottom of the list... Not Just Alphabetically!
Zombieland (2009)
Movie 3.5 Stars Feeling Alive in the Land of the Dead!


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